Compiled by Kristina

Wes: Well, I'm still stuck back at, "Why on earth are we here?"
Fred: What, because we're crusaders against evil and now the law firm that represents most of the evil in the world has given us its L.A. branch to run however we want, probably in an attempt to corrupt, divide, or destroy us, and we all said yes in, like, 3 minutes?
Wes: Your run-on sentences have got a lot less pointless.
Fred: Oh, that's so sweet. And a tad condescending.

Wes: So, Knox, how long have you been, uh, evil?
Knox: Oh! Heh! I just mix the potions, you know? And now that I'm taking orders from "el jefe" here, I'll probably be saving the world on a weekly basis.

Gunn: Oh! I want the one on the left. This one makes me feel a little bit less completely out of place. I'd say 17% less. Plus... a little bit of a view of the mountains. Lived my whole life in L.A., now I find out there are mountains. A brother should be told.

Eve: I don't need to make an entrance. I need to make an impression. I'm gonna be your liaison to the firm. I'll help you find your way. My name is Eve. And just so we get the whole irony thing of the way...

Eve: Things are always more complicated than they seem, champ. You can shut this place down, but... then...well, then you wouldn't have it anymore. If the place closes down, the connections dry up. Evil goes next door. This is the catch—I'm explaining the catch so you don't have to stand around wondering what it is. See, in order to keep this business running, you have to keep this business running. And that means keeping your clients—most of them, anyway—happy.

Fred: I think I've lost my appetite, which is kind of a first.

Eve: Lot simpler fighting vamps on the street, wasn't it? Tricked-out pickup, loyal gang, just you and the pointy wood against the living dead.
Gunn: This gonna be a thing with you, jumping out at people, or do you just not have an office of your own?

Harmony: Well, duh! I'm a single undead gal trying to make it in the big city—I have to start somewhere. And they're evil here, they don't judge. They've got the necro-tempered glass -- no burning up -- a great medical plan, and who needs dental more than us?

Harmony: Don't let's quibble. Before anything, just think—I'm strong, I'm quick, I'm incredibly sycophantic—if that means what that guy said—and I type like a superhero -- if there was a superhero whose power was typing. And, hey, we keep the same hours. Creatures of the night ... unite.

Angel: Cordy's sick. She's in a coma.
Harmony: Oh. God, I—I didn't... What happened? Is she gonna be OK?
Angel: We don't know.
Harmony: Cordy was my best friend, like... my whole life. She's my role model. How can she... So, anyway, I really think you should not fire me, and Wes does, too.

Angel: What? I'm not allowed to hit people?
Wes: Not people capable of genocide.
Angel: Those are exactly the types of people I should be allowed to hit!

Knox: I think you were right, boss. These guys specialize in quick-fire disease scenarios: Sarin gases and viruses.
Fred: Which you all built.
Knox: Hey, no. We've contained more plagues than we've ever designed. I'm not all about destruction here.

Eve: Rough day at work?
Angel: His son. He took a lethal virus, and he stuck it inside his son.
Eve: Hits you where you live, doesn't it? Of course I know. You lost your son. Well, gave him up.
Angel: To save him.
Eve: Which you did. He's happy and well-adjusted now that he has no memory of you, and the rest of the world, including your best friends, never even heard of Connor.

Fred: Do you do anything besides pretending you're running an evil Radio Shack?

Lorne: Angel toes, Lorne. Hey, listen, I'm gonna go ahead and recommend we get that boy into isolation pronto.
Angel: How long do we have?
Lorne: The defense is drawing it out, but the judge is making merry sport of them, and, well, now the jury's looking at Fries like he's O.J -- without the commanding performance in "Towering Inferno."

Hauser: You really think you can solve the problem? Come into Wolfram and Hart and make everything right? Turn night into glorious day? You pathetic little fairy.
Angel: I'm not little.
Hauser: That's exactly what you are. You're minuscule. A dust mote on the shelf of that great institution. Now, you think I'm just a trigger-happy jerk who follows orders, but I am something you will never be. I'm pure. I believe in evil. You and your friends, you're conflicted. You're confused. We're not. That is why you are gonna lose, because we possess the most powerful thing in the world... conviction.
Angel: There is one thing more powerful than conviction. Just one: mercy.

Gunn: All I got stuck in my head was the law. And for some reason, a messload of Gilbert and Sullivan.
Eve: Standard. Great for elocution.

Wes: Spike?
Angel: Spike.
Harmony: Blondie bear?